What We Learn From Roller Coasters

On Tuesday, a couple of friends and I were given the opportunity to travel to and enjoy and amusement park out of town for free. We went to 경주월드 (GyeongJu World) which is a small amusement park in the historical city of GyeongJu in South Korea. There, we hiked up to see a temple on a hill, had lunch, and the best part of all we got on a lot of pretty fun rides. 

One of the rides (which was terrifying btw) was a huge roller coaster that seats about 24 people. It was one of those roller coasters that you're hanging in your seat rather than a cart, meaning your legs are dangling and swaying in the air. 

I'm not a big fan of roller coasters. I usually tell people it's cause I hate waiting an hour for a 2 minute ride, but actually, I hate that tingling feeling you get at the drops, I hate the excruciating wait as the roller coaster creeps to the top, and I hate the sudden turns that fling you in your seat. But, I always get on them anyway, and I always, ALWAYS, thoroughly enjoy myself. 

These are the things that I have learnt from being hung and flung around on a roller coaster. 

Deciding to get on can be just as exciting or as scary as when you're already flying through the air. I sike myself out, I think about how horrible it MIGHT be, and end up not getting on a lot. Its like that with a lot of things in my life, just before venturing out into a new opportunity, I think about the things that can go wrong and all the different ways I'm not going to like it. Being realistic and making smart decisions is good, scaring yourself into not taking risks is not. 

Ups. Downs. Sudden turns. This is the one we've all heard a thousand times "life is like a roller coaster there ups and downs." But it's different in the sense that the downs aren't always bad, and the ups aren't necessarily good. Just like riding a roller coaster life is about how we go through it, are we willing to accept that we are already on this ride? Can we embrace the excitement as well as the anxiety? Can we try to enjoy the tingling feeling even if it sometimes makes you wanna throw up? And can we open our eyes to take in everything before realising that it all ends way too fast?

We're being thrown around and this could end horribly, but we trust the thing that is securing us. What makes a roller coaster intriguing is probably the though that goes "falling like this should kill me, but it won't!" It's because we trust in the roller coaster and that everything will work perfectly, even when we don't exactly understand how it works. I hope you know where I'm going with this. Just as I trust in the roller coaster, I trust in God. Life does an amazing job of throwing us around and making us feel like we're going to die. Putting our faith in God, especially when we're out of both energy and control, is maybe one of the most refreshing things that a person could feel. Sometimes trusting that He will keep us safe is the only thing that will keep us sane. 

Thinking back, a roller coaster ride is like a good portion of all the emotions you feel in your life squished in together in a 3 minute ride. How much you enjoy will depend on how much you trust everything will be okay in the end. 

And The Journey Begins

Yesterday, I officially got news that I had passed the STINT interview!!! WOOHOOOOO! It's amazing how things are moving so fast and how things suddenly seem so real. I sometimes have to stop and catch my breath, thinking "this might really be happening... wait... this actually is happening"

I was so worried about the STINT interview. I felt like I made a good impression, but I was so worried about getting all the "correct" answers that I might have come off as stiff in my answers. Whenever people asked me how I did in the interviews I would just answer them "I did my best", and I think everyone understood that I wasn't too sure of myself - luckily I have awesome friends that just let it go -

But besides how I felt it went, they passed me. 

The announcements were supposed to come out on the 25th of October, but they had to postpone the announcement until the 27th. Even on the 27th I waited and no text came. No answer telling me whether or not I got in or not into the STINT program. 

Early morning the next day though, I was suddenly flooded with congratulatory texts from CCC members. People were congratulating me on being accepted for STINT, but I myself had not heard the news first hand from any of the CCC staff. 

It turns out that the announcements had been posted on the KCCC website instead of being sent to us individually. So lesson learnt: CHECK THE WEBSITE.

A day after that a CCC staff contacted me, congratulated me, and then got into detail how the journey was now really starting. The preparations for STINT will start immediately and next week I will have to go to Seoul for meeting with the other STINTers. 

So, to end: YEAAAAY

God has really opened the doors to this, I'm just seeing more and more how He is able to make anything happen if we pray and let Him. 

Having Super Friends

The people we encounter each and everyday have a different standing in our lives and how they affect us. Most of the people we bump shoulders with will have no real lasting influence on us, but others will be etched into our minds and hearts. 

If we're very lucky, as we go through life, we will bump into people who will become our treasured friends. Although the word "friend" is a word we throw around like it means everything and nothing all at the same time, I've always this little poem sums up what a friend truly means beautifully:

A friend is someone we turn to

when our spirits need a lift.

A friend is someone we treasure,

for a friend is a gift.

A friend is someone who fills our lives

with beauty, joy and grace.

A friend makes the world we live in,

a better and happier place. 

I have a set of super friends, they put up with me, they love me, and they help me grow. As we all step out into the world, we might not be right by each other's side, but I the friends that are truly yours will be there for you none the less. 

Moving from country to country my whole life I've had the privilege of meeting some amazing people, but sadly I've had to say goodbye to a lot of them as well. But I can testify that distance can't really stop you from keeping amazing friends. 

But really what do I think about my friendships... I actually had to sit down and introspect on this one. 

Friends influence me in more ways than I would like to admit. They have basically shaped me into who I am today. Friends are a big part of my big life decisions, they help me realise my sense of self, and the direction that my life is going. 

Having friends gave me more friends. It's probably because people tend to be friendlier to someone when they have a mutual friend, but also I have been lucky enough to have friends that like to introduce me to their friends. Oh joy~ the fun just never ends. 

Friends that support me through thick and thin. They were there for me through all I was was going through, and even if they found my endless problems and troubles a downer for them, they never really showed it. I pray that I can as much of a friend to them as they were to me. 

They give me a reality check. Who but them is going to tell me that my shirt doesn't match my personality? Who else is going to tell me that a boy is going to break my heart even though I'm as happy as clam? Who else is going to stop me from my 15th can of Coca-Cola?

u don't always have to be this...

...being this is much easier on ur face"

Friendship works in 2 directions. Not only do I benefit from them, for me to be a friend helps them as well. When I become aware of how I influence them it makes me want to be closer to them.

I'm so so thankful that I have super friends!

the Short Term INTernation mission

The reason I started this blog is actually to promote awareness for the STINT program. But I realise that not many people know exactly what the STINT program is. 

STINT stands for Short Term INTernational. It is a program that is done by KCCC, and also by cru. The STINT program aims to grow young people through hands on mission in their respective mission fields. KCCC STINT is a full-time mission and mission training program that now has over 200 young missionaries serving in 13 countries and 30 districts. The main purpose of the STINT program is to fulfil the great commission. 

What will happen in the year that a "STINTer" is out on the mission field? He/she will primarily be helping out and working with the local on campus ministries. STINTers will be working closely together with the local CCC and experiencing what it means to be a Christian, to be a student, and missionary there. 

On Facing Fears

                     Photo by Gita Andreaina

I've sung on that stage a hundred times before, but for me to be up there alone, the stage looked so big and everyone seemed so far. 

When suddenly asked to sing a solo on stage, most people would get stage fright. But me? no... I get lonely.

A big fear that I have had to face my whole life is the fear of being alone. It's quiet an irrational fear considering I live in a dorm with great friends, I have an amazing CCC family, and a loving church community. But that's the thing about fear isn't it. Your mind makes up much more than what is likely going to happen.

I have said many times that the thing I love most in the world is people. As you can probably imagine I am an extreme extrovert, sometimes almost to a fault. I get incredibly lonely and I wonder why people are leaving me. Recently I've been feeling worse about it as I have had to say goodbye to some people that were a big part of my life. 

Getting up on stage in front of a hundred people is easy to me, stepping into my room and knowing that there isn't anyone inside... now that's scary. 

We all have fears don't we, and at some point in our lives we all have to face them. Sometimes God brings us to a situation where we are forced to face those fears, but sometimes we have to decide that our fears aren't going to rule us. 

For me, this meant that I had to learn to enjoy my own company, to not depend on other people's support, to self soothe. Like facing any fear, it's difficult. Actively deciding to not Skype, text, or go on Facebook and fully embrace being alone and telling myself that that's okay. 

I have ways to go, and I do chicken out sometimes, needing to find someone to be with. But I've decided to be kind to myself. I'll do all I can, and push just a little more. Who knows maybe one day I'll actually be able to enjoy a solitary walk on the beach. 

CCC? KC3? STINT? Cru? What??

                                Photo by Minwook Ha


It has come to my attention that a lot of people actually don't know many of the terms that I have been using throughout my previous blog posts. I get it, it can seem a bit confusing that there are so many acronyms. 

So, I've come to clear things up and explain to the best of my abilities (with the help of the cru website) what all of these terms mean. 

1. CCC: Campus Crusade for Christ is an evangelical Christian organisation that does its ministry mainly in universities. CCC was founded in 1951, by Bill Bright in UCLA, and has since become an international organisation that is active in around 1.740 campuses in 191 countries around the world. In 2011 CCC officially changed their name to Cru. I personally am a member of the KyungSung University CCC here in Busan, South Korea.
2. KC3: Korean Campus Crusade for Christ is a subbranch of Cru that caters mostly (but not strictly) to Korean students living in Korea and in the USA. 
3. SJ: SunJang (순장), which refers to a disciple maker. In this sense meaning a student who is a part of CCC who is a spiritual mentor to 1 or more disciples. 
4. SW: SunWon (순원) a spiritual disciple. 
5. STINT: stands for Short Term INTernational. Refers to an international missions training that is sanctioned by CCC. I am planning to go to STINT Atlanta, meaning that through CCC I am going to be going to ATL to do mission work and undergo missions training. (but more on that in a later post)

Because I am now studying in Korea and am enrolled in CCC in a Korean University, a lot of the terms that are used are from Korean words. Those were the 5 words that will probably pop up a lot on this blog. So, I hope that has cleared the air a little. 

A Spark for Atlanta

                                                                                                              Photo by Minwook Ha     

At the end of July Korean Campus Crusade for Christ held it’s annual Summer Conference. I have to say that after dealing with some hardships at the start of the year, I was not too excited for the 2014 KConference. But appropriately, the theme of this year's Summer Conference was "RESET in Christ".

But on the 3^rd day of the conference, my spiritual disciple, Reina, and I decided to visit several booths that were promoting international missions and inviting young people to step out of their comfort zone and serve Christ in places that truly needed them.  And that was when I saw it, a humble yet bright booth with bold (Korean) letters saying USA ATLANTA. 

The booth looked exactly the same as the booth next to it, and the one next to that. But what made it stand out was the “energetic” group of young people singing and shouting what seemed to be gibberish made up of random Korean and English words (and I speak both!!). 

I had visited their booth last year and had a met a number of the students and even kept in touch with some of them. Of course there were more faces that I didn’t recognize than the ones I did, but seeing the word ATLANTA sparked a kind of long lost dream, because a year ago, I had wanted so badly to apply for missions training in Atlanta. 

I was still a couple of booths away from the Atlanta booth when Reina suddenly laughed and said, “Can you believe that guy is holding a FREE HUG poster?” as she pointed to a young man in front of the Atlanta booth. He seemed to be going up to random Koreans and showing them his sign, offering free hugs. I was silent for a few seconds, then quietly said “uhm… I know that guy.” “What?”

I explained that I had met him at the last Summer Conference, but I didn’t want to say hello because I didn’t think he remembered me. In the end, we did end up going up to the ATL booth and talking with a number of students that were standing at the booth. After taking with several students, I was glad to find that FREE HUG did remember me, and upon seeing me, he indeed gave me a friendly… free hug. 

We talked quiet a bit that day, and he told me about the ministry that they were doing in Atlanta. I thought that all they were doing was great and all, but what really struck me was when he said “The harvest is plenty, but the harvesters are few.” Somehow those words made so much sense to me. 

I had been looking for a place where I could work for God and glorify His Kingdom, as well as a fresh start to rebuild my relationship with Jesus. This was it.

A million things raced through my mind as I lay down to sleep that night. But 2 things shouted the loudest: God and Atlanta. And a clear thought consumed me, “neither need me, both want me.” That night I decided without a sliver of a doubt, that if they would have me, I would give all I have to glorify God’s name in Atlanta. 

The last few days of the conference was like a beautiful waterfall of blessings, it was like something had been switched on inside me, or maybe all the hurt had been switched off. I suddenly had a purpose, I suddenly understood that the only thing that means anything to me is working for God. It was like someone came and pushed the RESET button.

Starting a Journey West

                                                                                                                       Photo by Minwook Ha

As I’m now officially starting the preparations to go for STINT Atlanta, I’ve decided to also start this blog to document my journey all the way there. 

So far it has been an incredibly exciting and blessed journey, and now that the interview phase is over. I am now waiting for the verdict of whether or not I am actually accepted into the program or not. 

The desire to go to Atlanta for mission training actually entered my mind the first time last year at the 2013 CCC Summer Conference, but at that time it was nothing but a far of dream, something I pushed back as an “impossibility”. 

But the 2014 CCC Summer Conference caught me at a completely different state of heart, and I found that “impossibility” quickly turned to “Yes! I want to! Yes! I can! Yes! I will!”

So, here I am.

I’m writing this blog as both a way to document my journey, but also to ask for the support of everyone who runs into this blog. No prayer is to small, no uplifting words are too small, no amount of money is to small. 

I have to say, I’m very excited.