Bumps on the Road

The past couple of weeks I've been reluctant to write on my progress preparing to go to ATL for the STINT mission. Mostly because I've been discouraged, I started doubting whether or not it was possible at all for me to make it to Atlanta, let alone start ministry. 

There were 3 major issues that I had to deal with. Support. Visa. Time. 

Even before I started all preparing for STINT, actually even when I hadn't decided whether or not I would sign up, these 3 things were always my biggest concern.

Visa. The USA is notorious for being very difficult to get into, usually by making it very complicated to get a visa. I was told that it would be more difficult for me to get a visa because I hold an Indonesian passport. Also because I am not being supported by my parents. All these things put together would make immigration officials assume I'm running to the US to become an illegal immigrant....

Time. I was blindsided a few weeks ago by the news that I had to be in Atlanta a month earlier than what we had planned. This means 1 less month of prep time, be it visa, funds, getting my school stuff wrapped up in Korea, and also this would mean I would not have a chance to say goodbye to a lot of friends that will be out of the country on vacation. 

Support. I have been incredibly discouraged by the lack of interest that I have been getting concerning this mission. I guess I was naive to think that every single person who heard about my plans would be moved to support, financially, or at least through prayer and encouragement. It was incredibly sad to see some people leaving behind the prayer cards I had given, as if they were just some trash. This opened my eyes so much to see that it was not on man that I had to rely on, but on God.

All these things put together have gotten me down the last few days, but after some words of wisdom from those around me, and a well needed Scripture wake up call, I'm finally feeling a lot better. How that came to be is a whole other post. 

God's Not Dead (Movie)

This past week for a Theology class that I have been taking, the professor got the class together to watch a movie titled "God's NOT Dead" directed by Harold Cronk. It is an independent Christian movie that came out early 2014. The story is based on the many disputes and lawsuits in US campuses concerning prosecutions towards Christians. 

The movie is mainly about a freshman, Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper), who enters an intro to philosophy class and finds that his professor, Jeremy Radisson (Kevin Sorbo),  requires everyone to make a written and signed statement saying "God is dead". Being a firm believer of Jesus Christ, Josh refuses to write such a statement. Professor Radisson then assigns him a task: if he won't sign the statement then he must prove God's existence through a series of arguments throughout the semester and engage in a head to head debate with the head strong professor of philosophy. The movie also revolves around a series of other characters that are intertwined with each other, each facing the struggles of their own faith. 

My take on this movie is that it was a slightly complicated movie because of the many characters and relationships, but at the same time it was able to deliver deep, beautiful, and meaningful message on the dynamics of accepting and  wrestling with our faith as well as standing proud and sharing what we believe about God. 

The central part of this movie is about Josh, who has a lot to lose by choosing to stand up in front of his philosophy class and defending what he believes according to the Christian faith. Everyone around him believes he is committing academic suicide by choosing to go against Professor Radisson. But as Josh puts it "Only a real risk can test the reality of a believe" (I believe this is a C.S. Lewis quote). 

I think most of us, as Christians, would like to believe that we when the opportunity presents itself to us, we would be able to stand of Jesus as Josh did. But for me personally, even though with all my heart I would want to, I just don't think I'd have the guts. I'm disappointed in myself that I can say that. 

I believe that it takes a certain character to do what Josh was able to do in this movie and it take a strong prayerful heart that asks God for to fill us up with the Holy Spirit to be able to stand up for him when the time comes for us to do so. 

This movie goes on to show how Josh presents his arguments concerning creation versus the big bang theory and evolution, as well as other topics that he brings up in order to present his case that "God's not dead". 

A large part of this movie talks about evolution and the big bang theory, and a one of my favourite lines in the movie is when Josh is presenting his case about the big bang and he quotes George Lemaitre: "the entire universe jumping into existence in a trillionth of a trillionth of a second, out of nothingness in an intense flash of light, is how he would expect the universe to respond if God were to actually utter the command like in Genesis 1:3, 'let there be light'". 

We are taken on a short journey of these characters lives as they interact with each other and the effect that they have on each other's spiritual life. People who have never heard of Christ coming to believe (Martin), people who are forced to hide their faith because of family and culture (Aisha), and those who must risk everything to stand up for what they believe and bring a smile to the their friend Jesus (Josh). 

Overall it was a beautiful film, light but warm and deep and the same time. I was blessed incredibly watching this film and going through the characters' lives with them. I highly recommend watching this movie no matter where you stand on your faith. Go into it with an open mind and a ready heart and I think we can all take a little out of the stories that this movie contains. 

The Ups and Downs

This past weekend I traveled up to Seoul for the very first STINT meeting. Around 90 young people that are preparing to go to all over the world to fulfil the Great Commission gathered in the CCC headquarters. 

We weren't told much about what we would be doing there, we were only told to bring some required paper work and to prepare our hearts. So basically we were going in blind. 

I took a bus from Busan at 1AM and arrived in Seoul at about 5AM in the morning. It was a comfortable bus ride, but with all the excitement and anxiety I couldn't get much sleep. I had high expectations that the staff at the KCCC headquarters would be answering a lot of the confusion I had about the logistics of this whole missions. Little did I know that as those questions were answered I would only be left with a lot more confusion. 

It was about 8.30AM when I arrived at HQ and we were served a simple breakfast of onigiri, I ate and hurried to the conference hall. I registered quickly and found a seat with another girl from our school that is planning to got Singapore. 

I was thankful that the first thing that we did as the day started was have a worship session, followed by a preaching on what it meant to have a heart of service and a passion for mission, and then had a short prayer session. At that moment I couldn't have been more thankful that I was a part of KCCC.

Then it was time to get down to the nitty gritty. Staff members and speakers came to take the podium one at a time to talk about everything from visa preparation, scheduling, insurance, and even how to talk to potential sponsors. All of this was done to prepare us for the next few months of getting ourselves together for the mission.

With every new speaker that came on to the stage, I grew a little more encouraged and a little more worried at the same time. Encouraged because each speaker gave us a little more clarity on what we needed to prepare, thus I didn't feel like I was so in the dark on how to move forward. At the same time every speaker (yes, EVERY speaker) revealed to us a different fee that we had to pay for all the different processes that we have to go through, and none of them were very small.

I found myself worrying more and more about money - one of the worst things in the world to be worried about. But as the staff members were telling us about all of this, they never forgot to remind us how God will be the one to provide for us, and that it wasn't in our hands it was in His. 

I believe the staff members were also aware of how worried we all got as we drew up plans in our heads about how to get all the funding together, because at the end one of the staff members reminded us of 2 crucial things:

He will finish what He started. If God has truly brought me down this road, He will be the one to provide for it all. I can only do what I can do, and trust that He is the one who will push it all along. 

Not mine, but Your will be done. But, I must also hold near that it isn't what I want that will pan out, it is what He has already planned. He is going to do something with my life, and I am only coming along with Him. 

Tired of being Tired

Photo by KangHoon Lee

                       
A few days ago one of my friends on Facebook wrote a post saying "Tired of constantly being tired". Don't we all get that feeling sometimes. When we feel like we are drowning in our business. 

The past few weeks I have been drowning in what seems like endless work, and no time at all. I find myself thinking "how could God have made only 24 hours in 1 day." Between homework, midterms, work, and ministry I barely have time for basic needs like eating and sleeping. 

A picture has been floating around the internet lately that basically says: as a college student you have 3 things to try to fulfill. Those are good grades, a social life, and sleep. The catch? Choose 2. As a freshman and a sophomore I thought that picture was so true and related to me perfectly! Now... Not much. Now it's more like: school, work, friends, family, church, extraculicular activities, study, relationship, personal grooming, volunteering, building a good resume. The catch? Try for all of it... and phisically and mentaly break down.

I've accepted that being tired is a part of our lives, but I've learned that being tired is not our natural default and that we need to do everything we can to lessen the burden on ourselves as much as possible.

Photo by Citta Ananda Lestari

A sound mind dwells in a healthy body. I've learnt first hand that having a healthy body (helps) keep me sane! I am able to concentrate more, get more work done and sleep better during the nights when I am living a healthier lifestyle. And it only takes (and yes, I know this may be hard for some) cutting out unnecessary food out of my diet (like soda, chips, and all their friends), and exercising for just about 30 minutes to an hour a day (I usually jog). 

A healthier sleeping habit. One of the things that has helped me the most is keeping a regular sleeping habit. Going to sleep and waking up at the same time everyday, and this does mean not sleeping in on weekends. Your body gets used to the schedule, and you don't get tired as easily because your body knows when to expect sleep. Sleeping 8 hours is just not possible with all the things that I need to get done, but by sleeping on a schedule my body is perfectly fine with 4-5 hours of sleep. (I dunno tho.. it might catch up to me one day)

Learning to give up and let go. I've had to learn that failures do happen. In my work, in myself, and in personal relationships. On top of that, new challenges and opportunities always come around, so I have learnt that some things are not worth fighting for, and there's no point in regretting or suffering over something that has past. It's all about prioritising and putting your energy into what's most important. I've had to learn to stop myself from stressing over relationships that can't be maintained and just let some people go.

Focus more on the accomplishments. I've found that when I purposely look at what I have accomplished (and have a mini celebration in my head) I feel less tired and stressed. I think it's because I feel that all the hard work was worth it. Even something as simple as this blog, every time I get a post up, I give myself a subtle pat on the back and let myself celebrate this little accomplishment. Sure, I still feel tired, but it's worth it. 

Being tired is something we all feel at some point, but I've decided that for me I'm going to try my best to keep myself from getting worn out both physically and mentally.